by Kali Lindsey, Director of
Legislative & Public Affairs, NMAC
Each
year, on October 11, the LGBT community marks the anniversary of the 1987
National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, by celebrating
National Coming Out Day. As a black gay man, I know how difficult coming out
can be. I also know how important it is to be open and honest about who
you are and who you love. For much of our history, the LGBT community was
relegated to the proverbial closet, unable or unwilling to live in the
open. That all changed when a group of drag queens fought back against
police brutality one summer night in New York City. Gays and lesbians
across the country realized that no one was going to hand them equality, they’d
have to demand it. And the best way to fight hate was to live and love
openly.
I
came out for the first time in 1997. But, like so many gay men, I’ve had
to come out twice. In 2003, I was diagnosed with HIV. Coming out to
my friends and family about my HIV status was just as difficult, and no less
important, as telling them that I am gay, especially after promising my parents
that I would keep myself safe and healthy. I am lucky to have family and
friends that continue to love me unconditionally. It is very difficult to
manage this disease without the support of your loved ones. But I
took that risk and came out both times, because just as living as an openly gay
man is the best way to combat homophobia, being open about my HIV status is
critical to combating the stigma that surrounds this disease.
The
stigma surrounding homosexuality and HIV go hand in hand. Fear of being
“outed” about either too often prevents individuals from being tested or
seeking care and treatment. The irony is that much of the current gay
rights movement owes its existence to HIV/AIDS. As the epidemic ravaged
gay men in the 1980s, with little to no response from the government, the LGBT
community stood up and demanded action. Gay men came out in droves, and
the lesbian and transgender communities were by their sides. The
government may not have been concerned with a disease that mainly affected gay
men, but because these brave individuals came out, the public saw the face of
AIDS, and it looked like their brothers and their sons.
While
today is a day to celebrate who we are, we must also acknowledge the hard
reality facing gay men in this nation, especially young gay men. Evidence
suggests that those who come out and live openly as gay men are more likely to
become HIV-positive. Young gay and bisexual men are the only group in
which HIV infections are increasing, with young black gay men seeing an
alarming 48 percent spike in new infections between 2006 and 2009. As we
celebrate National Coming Out Day, our community must once again come together
and support young gay and bisexual men and help them grow into adulthood
HIV-free.
I
am proud to be an openly gay man living with HIV and look forward to the day
that HIV is a thing of the past. But until that day, I encourage anyone
in a position to do so to come out. While the decision to live openly
about one’s sexual orientation and HIV status is deeply personal and often
scary, I am living proof that there is joy, fulfillment and love waiting for
those that choose to.
###
The
National Minority AIDS Council (NMAC) represents a coalition of faith based and
community based organizations as well as AIDS service organizations advocating
and delivering HIV/AIDS services in communities of color nationwide.
Since 1987, NMAC has developed leadership in communities of color through a
variety of advocacy campaigns, public policy education programs, national
conferences, research programs, capacity building, technical assistance and
trainings, and digital and electronic resource materials. For more information
visit www.nmac.org.
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